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Author Topic: Computers. Confused? You will be  (Read 2803 times)

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Offline Rocker66

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Computers. Confused? You will be
on: February 04, 2013, 08:19:03 AM
Abbott and Costello This is TOO good! Yes, this IS what they would do, if
> they were still here! Read on: You have to be old enough to remember Abbott
> and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers to fully
> appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our
> computers, please read on...
>
> If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
> 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
>
> COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
>
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
> COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about
> buying a computer.
> ABBOTT: Mac?
> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
> ABBOTT: Your computer?
> COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
> ABBOTT: Mac?
> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
> ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
> ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.. I need a computer and software.
> ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
> proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
> ABBOTT: Office.
> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
> ABBOTT: I just did.
> COSTELLO: You just did what?
> ABBOTT: Recommend something.
> COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> ABBOTT: Yes.
> COSTELLO: For my office?
> ABBOTT: Yes.
> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
> ABBOTT: Office.
> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
> ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
> COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
> sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
> ABBOTT: Word.
> COSTELLO: What word?
> ABBOTT: Word in Office.
> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
> straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
> track my money with?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
> ABBOTT: Money.
> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
> ABBOTT: One copy.
> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
> (A few days later)
> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
> COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
> ABBOTT: Click on 'START'...............
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